Going to Counseling Saved My Life and It Might Save Yours Too

Jul 1 / Peter Piñón

Finding a therapist can feel overwhelming. Most of us don’t look for one when life is going well. We start searching when we’re in crisis—when we’re anxious, depressed, grieving, stuck in destructive patterns, or just trying to keep our heads above water.

That was me in 2015. I was a mental health professional, a husband, a father, a son, a brother, and a friend. But I was also silently struggling. I felt vulnerable and embarrassed admitting that I needed help. I had spent years helping others find healing, yet I was afraid to ask for it myself.

Starting therapy was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But it was also one of the best decisions of my life. I believe that seeing a therapist helped save my marriage, my relationship with my kids, my calling, and my life.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, ask God for help. Scripture reminds us in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” You don’t have to figure everything out before you begin. Just take the next step. Pray. Ask for guidance. And move forward in faith, trusting that God cares about your healing more than you do.

Three Core Values That Guide My Approach to Healing and Transformation

At the heart of everything I do and teach is a commitment to three things:

1. Scripture-based

God’s Word has something to say about every part of our lives, including our mental, emotional, behavioral, relational, and spiritual health. Healing is not outside the reach of faith. It is part of it. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” This is not just a metaphor. I've seen the LORD do it.

2. Science-informed

God created our minds, brains, and bodies. And He gave us the ability to study them. Good therapy is based on research and best practices (AKA, Evidence-based). This includes things like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT, which helps us challenge unhealthy thoughts and learn healthy thoughts), Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR, which helps us process trauma), and other tools that are supported by clinical evidence (Solution-Focused, Narrative Therapy, Client-Centered, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, etc.). Using these tools does not contradict our faith. It can actually help us live it out more fully.

3. Spirit-led

While therapy involves practical tools and techniques, healing is ultimately a relational and spiritual process. That's why we say, "We think better together." That's not just us as humans, but when we are connected to the Holy Spirit. He comforts. He reveals. He restores. We don’t have to choose between professional help and the Holy Spirit's help. We can have both. We need both.

15 Things I Considered When Looking for a Therapist

Finding a healthy therapist is a personal process. Not every therapist will be a fit for you, and that’s okay. You don’t have to settle. You don’t have to give up after one try. Below are the 15 things I considered when I was looking for someone to walk with me through my healing journey.

1. Qualifications

Is the therapist licensed? Do they have the proper education and certifications to practice therapy legally and ethically?

2. Experience

Does this therapist have experience in the areas I’m struggling with? For example, if I’m dealing with trauma, anxiety, or grief, have they worked with clients who have faced these challenges?

3. Approach

What kind of therapy do they use? Different therapists use different approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy (which focuses on understanding patterns from the past), or mindfulness-based therapy (which helps you stay present). Find one that feels like a good fit for your personality and values.

4. Trustworthiness

Do I feel like I can trust this person? Do they follow through on what they say? Do they protect confidentiality? You don’t have to trust them completely in the first session, but you should feel like you can grow to trust them over time.

5. Empathy & Validation

Do they care? Do they understand what I’m going through without trying to fix me too quickly or dismiss my feelings?

6. Active Listening

Do they really listen? Are they engaged and responsive? You should not feel like you are talking to a wall or someone who is just nodding along.

7. Communication

Are they clear in how they talk about the process? Do they explain things in a way that makes sense? Are they honest and transparent?

8. Flexibility

Are they able to adjust their approach to meet my needs? Some seasons in life require a different pace or strategy. A healthy therapist knows how to adapt.

9. Respect

Do they treat me with dignity? Do they honor my story and background? I wanted someone who respected me as a fellow human, and also as a fellow counselor. And thankfully, I found that.

10. Non-judgment

Do I feel safe being honest and open? A healthy therapist does not have to agree with everything I say or do, but they should make space for me to be real without fear of judgment.

11. Patience

Healing takes time. Do they seem willing to walk with me for the long haul, or do they seem in a rush to fix things?

12. Availability

Are they actually available when I need them? A great therapist who only has appointments once a month might not work if I need consistent support. Don’t give up. Keep looking.

13. Feedback

Do they give helpful feedback and also receive it well? Therapy should be a two-way conversation. You should feel free to speak up and let them know what is or is not working.

14. Goals

Do they help me set clear goals? Many of us come into therapy just wanting to “feel better,” but a healthy therapist helps us get more specific. What does “better” mean to you?

15. Follow-up

Do they build on past conversations and remember where we left off? You should feel like your sessions are connected and moving you forward, not starting from scratch every time.

If You’re Thinking About Therapy, Here’s What I Want You to Know

It is okay to try a few therapists before you find the right one. It’s okay if your first session feels awkward. It’s okay to bring your questions and your grief and your confusion into the room.

You don’t have to choose between your faith and your mental health. God is not offended by your struggle. In fact, He draws near to you in it.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

I believe healing and transformation are possible. I believe that God can use therapy as part of that healing. And I believe you are worth the work it takes to get there. Praying for you.

You are not alone. You are not too far gone. And it’s not too late to begin again.

Resources

Need emergency care?

If you or someone you know is in a life-threatening situation, please call 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.
Minds Connected does not provide urgent, emergency, or crisis support.

Call or text: